SpoonfulOfDreams

    CoVID-19 Day 24   Today was hopeful if I can be permitted to describe it as such. My meetings were either positive, helpful or forward looking. It’s important when in such a dire situation that hope isn’t extinguished. Laughter and grief often play off each other, one framing the other giving meaning to our existence. I learned about networking via LinkedIn and was reminded of the importance of clear communication and the value in openness. Futures are built on trust while fortunes are often castles with no foundation. Don’t underestimate how much people generally want your best, instinctively understanding that successes are made for sharing. we must come together with the common interest, not of picking up where we were but demanding that things be different Today a 28 year old mother died before her baby could be delivered. She was a black nurse and her colour is important. While CoVID might be colour blind statistics are not...

CoVID-19 Day 23 Following the sinusoidal Easter weekend with its positive and negative highs, intense analysis and introspection, its perhaps not surprising that my morning began dark. "What is the point of all this" was the overriding feeling especially after a conversation wading through a bleak financial landscape. My first response was to put on my shoes and head for the beach but instead I picked up my guitar. I decided to record a song I enjoy playing then post to the internet and hopefully lift someone's day. My beach walk would have been better served by turning my brain off and just taking in the time and space. Instead I tried writing a song by repeating nonsense in a beat I wouldn't normally compose in. I got back feeling as stressed as I left. I'd not wound down but I was ready to apply myself and got down to it. just as an aggressive parasite will kill its host, the neoliberal elite may well have strangled their golden goose At midday...

CoVID-19 Day 22 Wow, its been an information bomb site today. I joined the Labour Party in 2016 when Jeremy Corbyn was heading for his second win as leader after the infamous ‘chicken coup’ where members of the shadow cabinet resigned one by one after the referendum went Brexit. I’d registered with the party the year before to vote for him as leader and Tom Watson as deputy (how I regret the latter vote). When Theresa May called the snap election in 2017 my heart sank. With Labour well behind in the polls and the Parliamentary Labour Party having done a job on Corbyn. But I really enjoyed the campaign and we were buzzing after the election even though we lost. Jeremy had been magnificent and we’d robbed May of her majority. We came tantalisingly close to gaining power but it wasn’t to be. The one who we adore and love, captivates us with her charms Reassures us with her rhythmic presence and terrifies us in her capriciousness There were rumours ...

The naked sand is clothed with an indigo dress Sequins shimmering and skirts cascading The bay queen will soon be regaled from Neptune’s wardrobe And crowned as the sun withdraws to its chamber For now she takes her throne In subtle, graceful steps, with little pomp Another day she will raise her army And take the rocks by force Shouting down all who would oppose her Then retreating with magnanimity and poise And while the mountain king pushes out his vaunted chest She dances with the moon in regal beauty The one who we adore and love Captivates us with her charms Reassures us with her rhythmic presence And terrifies us in her capriciousness

CoVID-19 Day 21 For some, Easter has passed them by (it would have been even wierder if this had happened over Christmas) but there is something that fits seamlessly into the CoVID narrative. What’s particularly striking is the manner in which 3 aspects of the crisis impact us as a society and how those themes are echoed in the Easter story. I need to begin with the 2nd theme. There has been much observation of cleaner air, birdsong in cities, dolphins in Venice and many other examples of the environment being given a season off and basking in the forced environmental controls that have simply been a consequence of less air travel and industrial activity — its own sabbath or jubilee. The 1st is how our environment and our societies have been exploited in order to accumulate wealth and power into a few hands, submitting our planet to torture and ruinous abuse. It has been achieved through theft, injustice and avarice; it rewards the guilty and punishes th...

CoVID-19: Day 20 Its been an interesting day. Fractious exchanges on Facebook yesterday spilled into this morning in what appeared to be a singular episode and yet similar issues have cropped up elsewhere in what a conspiracy theorist’s might describe as copycat. Except they are all explainable as expected fallouts from similar tensions. The isolation being experienced as we try to mitigate the worst of the pandemic was clearly a factor but I found my midday walk to be exceedingly therapeutic precisely because so few people were about. The management apologises that there will be no service available today but feel free to browse If you’d planned the scene you’d have set the conditions such that the mountains would stand out and frame it but they were entirely hidden behind a veil of mist. As it was, the misty edge to the horizon spoke to not only the quiet acceptance of our lot but to the majesty of nature that would consider us less subjects than annoying ...

CoVID-19 : Day 19 A friend reached out to me this morning recognising my stress and it hit me. I’d reached information and emotional overload and I was responding to triggers on Facebook — my strings were being played and I was singing like a bird. Fortunately I held it together but I could see why I was feeling adrift last night. Yet I can’t imagine what frontline staff are going through, watching people die, seeing their colleagues fall prey to the virus and being exhasted and ill equipped. I guess there is some cognitive dissonance at play when we find ourselves as extras looking on as the paid actors play to the camera, acting out their roles as we suspend our disbelief. Its the stage hands and technicians who keep the whole thing going but only get a mention in the final credits which roll as the audience leaves the cinema. If the film set were a battle we would make up most of the casualties, the techicians would be the medical unit, the director and pr...

CoVID-19 : Day 18   I t's clapping day and it feels odd but that’s just me. It feels anonymous because there is no one taking a bow at the end of our street or being presented with an award or finishing a presentation. But then sometimes someone is called to the front (quite unexpected for them) and praised and the onlookers called to clap so I guess that’s what we’re doing. Except that doesn’t fully satisfy my disquiet. These frontline workers didn’t sign up for heroism or to be asked to go into situations for which they were not given adequate support and I want to say sorry but a clap doesn’t seem appropriate for that. Having raised this question publicly I found that the clapping was appreciated by many and not seen as a hollow gesture and no one came back to me who questioned the applause. the whole corona crisis has become a behemoth that crushes its heroes and elevates it villains And its Good Friday tomorrow. I never did get totally into the Good Friday thing ...

Unfortunately I don't have time right now to do diligent research or explore this adequately but I just want to put my thoughts down with a view to giving this the time it deserves at a future date. Billy Graham holds the distinction of preaching the Gospel to more people than any man in history. On both sides of the pond he has drawn massive crowds to hear a no-nonsense, down to earth Gospel message. Well planned organisation and follow-up meant that he was no hit and run preacher and he was certainly no snake oil salesman. By all accounts he was a loving, caring family man who lived by his principles. I have no doubt that he lived by his word and didn't seek financial gain from his ministry but he did - and handsomely. As far as I'm aware, Franklin was no prodigal son but rather the junior partner in Graham and Son who has simply carried on the family business. So what did (or would) his father have thought of Franklin challenging Obama's claim to be a Christian bas...

House of Cards You might be aware of the Netflix series 'House of Cards' based on a British series which has a central character who speaks into the camera, giving a running commentary throughout. What makes it compelling is that his nefarious and shady dealings are contrasted with his earnest and candid account of his actions. It begins with him as a Uriah Heap like Chief Whip with designs on the Premiership and a twisted Machiavellian moral code that excuses his otherwise repulsive behaviour. In both series a woman becomes ensnared in a power play with the protagonist and pays a very costly price for daring to call the shots. In one of those bizarre prophetic coincidences, its rather spooky how the fall of Michael Fallon (involved in a sexual harassment scandal) should be proceeded by the elevation of the Chief Whip to Secretary of Defence. Any further connections with fiction may or may not surface but what is more poetic is the fall of Kevin Spacey who starred in and prod...

I worked in domiciliary care for 6 months of 2010. I was lodging at the time, half an hour's walk from my nearest appointment. I walked everywhere. I did a great deal of walking. Mare Insularum means "Sea of Islands" The Evening Shift This is an assignment with plenty of sit down, watch the box time. The evening shift means watching my client, making sure he doesn’t choke on anything, organising his medicines and putting him to bed. It also means sitting through Emmerdale, Eastenders and Corrie. Watching soaps sounds like a breeze except (in my case) when it feels like cruel and unusual punishment, trapped between pill drops and bedtime. That time might otherwise feel like not working except you are being paid to be there and being there is often more important than being busy. One client, whom I have only seen once, definitely didn't want me to be there. He was paying and, to his mind, it was his usual carer that he was paying for. It took a while to persuade h...

Its not because it is directly responsible for the tragedy – it clearly isn’t. Its not because the now Foreign Secretary decimated London fire services when he was Mayor. The firefighters could not have done more to prevent the towering inferno and its doubtful a more substantial number of firefighters would have resulted in a significantly different outcome. Its not because the vicious cuts to public services meant that inspections were less frequent or thorough. However critical we are of the current government this might have happened under a previous Labour government. Yet I do believe there will be attempts to shift blame away from central government and we are well aware that party affiliation doesn’t save you from being thrown under the bus – the Conservative Parliamentary Party would gladly sacrifice lesser Tories in order to retain power. While there is plenty of blame to be attributed to political and business figures it is possible that a Tory government could miti...

My Mum was born on 14 January 1924 and died 14 June 2010 Born Edith Betty Holland, she met a man she would dedicate her life to, to honour and obey, till death do they part. Dad died in 1999 and if you knew him you would know that he was a truly great man but as they say, behind every great man… They fitted perfectly. My Grandma used to say that they were the best mum and dad in the world and she wasn't given to flowery sentimentality. Mum was strong and resolute, not one for forgiving and forgetting. Fortunately Dad was a peacemaker - Mum the dependable, brittle, oak, Dad the strong but flexible willow. Mum had little self confidence but she had an inner strength she didn't believe she had and drew strength from the man upon whom she could utterly depend. The last few years Mum battled with vascular dementia but she clung on to the memory of her family and husband like grim death when, by all rights, she should have slipped into blissful ignorance. My eulogy at her funeral ...

Dieting has never appealed to me, partly because the pseudo science that drives the diet industry has so often proved itself to be just that. Even professional dieticians fail to enable their clients when they pursue a non-holistic approach, driven by their scientific methodology which doesn't adequately address the human condition. While it must be under-girded by science, dieting is generally more an art. It also doesn't exist as a discipline in itself, it has to be part of a lifestyle to have any hope of maintaining traction. I first fell into the trap of thinking that losing weight was a case of mind over matter - that somehow I could think myself thin. I can now attribute that to avoidance. To engage on a proper diet I would need to declare myself fat and my girth was not something I wanted to draw attention to (for many reasons). But what you have to realise is that people don't pay much attention to things that don't change so if you are not gaining or losing ...

I think its fair to say that the majority of people are religious to some degree, whether they place their faith in a deity or religious mantra or simply hold to beliefs that lack empirical evidence. None (or very few) of us have a check list of verifiable facts by which we measure every action. We even deliberately go against sound advice and received wisdom when we feel the need to satisfy an emotional compulsion that defies rational thinking but agrees with our core. We’ve all heard (or read) someone say, “I’m not a religious person but I felt the need to pray”. Its a need to appeal to a higher authority that is impartial, compassionate and wise. The heart sometimes doesn’t even need to believe, the hope that good is supreme and actually resides in some dimension is enough to get through the moment. Many find security in organised religion even though the tenets of faith under girding it mean nothing to them or are quite unfamiliar. Nationalists often affiliate themselves to a r...

I'm going to shout I'm going to cry I'm going to pout I'm telling you why Satan's truck is coming to town He's making a list He's checking it for The kids who are rich The kids who are poor  Satan's truck is coming to town He haunts you when you're sleeping He taunts when you're awake Don't matter if you're bad or good Its kerching for goodness sake  I'm going to shout I'm going to cry I'm going to pout I'm telling you why Satan's truck is coming to town

Standing Rock is where Native American Water Protectors stand between the greed and recklessness of big oil and the future of our planet. The American government needs to know that the world sees the ongoing injustice towards Native Americans, the state sanctioned terrorism perpetrated by law enforcement and its utter disregard for the health and wellbeing of its citizens. However, in keeping with the principles of the Water Protectors we stand, not a aggressors but as protectors. Our prayer vigil looks for love and peace to win over hatred, greed and violence. I am planning a vigil on the Millenium Bridge in Lancaster at 9pm on 26 November. A silent prayer for the Water Protectors and the future of our planet. I propose we gather just before 9pm, pray in silence for 2 minutes and then simply communicate with each other. This event has a spiritual element but is not religious. It is not promoting any religion, god or creed. If you are supporting another event in the city you c...